The Summer Boyfriend is easy breezy. You can find him on a fire escape at someone’s house party, smoking cigarettes and clutching a sangria. He is the definition of someone you don’t want when the weather gets cold but he’s perfect for the warmer temperatures. You envision him on a beach with the sand in his toes. You see him shirtless and drinking margaritas on a rooftop. The sun hits his skin in the most perfect way and it will be hard for you to not have sex with him every moment of every day. That’s The Summer Boyfriend’s job though—to give you multiple orgasms a day—and the rest is just light and fluffy like clouds. You only like him in June, July, and August. When Labor Day hits, feelings will shift and you’ll feel the need to exit the relationship ASAP. He’ll walk you to the train on the first day you need to wear a cardigan and you’ll know it’s done. The second it gets cold, so do the feelings. “I don’t want to see you in sweaters. I want to see you in a tank top. It’s been real, dude.”
